all seeing

[thrutheeyesofme]

into the future
way out, beyond the veil
impending, inevitable
a work in progress
awaiting our enlightenment

into the past
that part of your mind
you blocked away
the thoughts unspoken
the disillusion

but above all
the hope
that the veil hides only
the sun

[Hannibal]

Wow.... this one was good.
But, what did the veil symbolize?
At first glance, I kinda imagine it like... there's all this going on beneath this veil... but the veil really isn't that important, after all, it's just a window to space/the sun/ infinity/ etc...
this was good.... a thinker

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As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...

If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
Word And Voice
Motocross Fanatics
General Philosophy

[thrutheeyesofme]

thanks hannibal
Yeah, the veil is the significant insignificant, almost like the one beat between you and the next moment of the future, something so small but such a big progression.... i don't know if this sounds a bit 'airy' but it makes more sense in my head i think!

[Generalkaos]

Make it walk and talk. This piece is a move in the right direction, but I want even more image from which to breed sense. I know, no one's interested in what I have to say, but I just see a lot of reaching without anyone being there yet. (Not that I am either.) I don't understand the purpose of this board, either. I thought it was a poetry critique board, but there seems to be little if any critiquing going on. Everyone goes by the adage "if you don't have something nice to say..." but goddammit, there is nothing wrong with criticism if it is offered in the proper spirit. If you tell me "this line sucks" and tell me why, I will not be offended. I'm just so frustrated. I was so happy to find this board, but I don't understand what's going on here, and I'm not sure I should be posting pieces or critiques. Is it just that I'm expecting everyone to be serious, and they're just doing this for she sheer hell of it? I don't see why writing for fun and being serious about writing have to be two different things. I dunno. I hope someone replies to this reply and lets me in on things, because otherwise, I give up. Anyone? Hannibal? Anyone?

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Fetch me my blue fright wig, that I may be handsome when I unleash my wrath.

[This message has been edited by Generalkaos (edited March 10, 2002).]

[thrutheeyesofme]

I agree with your sentiments... although i think it has to be maintained that if you are going to criticise, it needs to be substantiated. I won't speak for anyone else but the poems i put on here are first drafts or scribbles from my notepad, which I maybe find appealing but want an outside perspective on....a bit of impartiality if you like. Whether it's criticism or praise it can only help my ideas develop further, like you said, walk and talk.....

This is also one of the reasons why my postings are quite condensed... it's like the seed of an idea i'm stuck on or not sure what to do with. Sometimes though I kinda like the fact that im unsure. Writing to me is fun but its also something ingrained, something which helps me decipher the world i guess...

thanks for your post i think you made some valid points and some im not so sure... but then again i kinda like being unsure!

[This message has been edited by thrutheeyesofme (edited March 10, 2002).]

[Hannibal]

Hey General, I concur with you on the fact that more criticism needs to be offered. In fact, if you go back and look at past pages, there was a time when I said basically the exact same thing that you just said.
So I do understand where your coming from.
I try to offer up what I don't like about poems as well as what I do like about them. Most of my replies stand as positive I know, but there is usually mention of a few lines, or some words that just don't sit right with me...
So, I can understand where your coming from, but a lot of people here who post here, just write as a form of fun, a little relaxing I would suppose.
I can't speak for everyone, but I'm not a poetry major, I don't study poetry, I just happen to know what I like, don't like, and can back it up most of the time
Poetry is a world of fun, different for every person, I hope you continue to post here, but if you feel this board isn't your style, then so be it... that is your call.
I would like to see more people who post poems, reply to others, or even the critiques made on their own posts more often... I think that would help things...
and it's getting there...
thrutheeyes, sarafin, some new posters, who do a good job of some replying...
Like poetry, this board is poetry,
evolving.

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As miserable as life may be I hold it pretty precious...

If I lose the light of the sun, I will write by candlelight, moonlight, no light. If I lose paper and ink, I wil write in blood on forgotten walls. I will write always, I will capture nights all over the world and bring them to you.
Word And Voice
Motocross Fanatics
General Philosophy

[thrutheeyesofme]

this might start off as sounding a bit arrogant but it honestly isn't: Confession 1: i am an English and Scottish Literature student, hoping to become a poetry major. Confession 2: I don't think that my last confession makes my opinions any more valid than anyone else's on this board.. perhaps the only differences would be technical terms etc in criticism but the poetry produced will have an equal starting chance.
Confession 3:I think that something positive can be derived from all attempts at poetry/art/music etc... even a joke can be a fabulous parody. So I will, by and large only post majorly positive comments (perhaps with a question i need answered or a point that i didn't understand)

anyone else agree? General your sentiments are spot on but what we have to remember is that our perspectives of the world are all different.. maybe what you plainly see I dont understand etc...